Two days ago, I was cord-cutter. Yesterday I signed up for a new telephone landline. Today, I am still a cord-cutter. How did this come to be?
I have been paying for cable television for almost five years. During that time, I never plugged the television into the cable. The cable outlet is on the opposite side of the room from the television. I can’t be bothered to run an ugly wire across my room. A year or so ago, my cable company sent a new digital DRM box to “enhance” my television experience. My unused cable TV would stop working unless I installed this anti-cable-theft device. Nonplused, I placed the unwanted device in a closet – box unopened.
I am an archetypal cord-cutter. I’ve never subscribed to land-line telephone service. I watch television and movies on my Roku. I read and listen to my news. I have no use for a hundred channels of mediocre programming and intrusive advertising. Between Netflix, Amazon Prime, and the PBS online station, I have more than television than I could possibly watch. If I want to see a particular show not offered free, Amazon is happy to sell me the program. I would rather pay $2 to watch a 20 minute show on demand than pay nothing to watch a 20 minute show and 10 minutes of commercials at a set time. I find channel surfing unpleasant.
So why do I subscribe to cable television? Because my Internet connection, which is integral to my business and entertainment of choice, is cheaper if I bundle cable television. That’s it. I’ve called my cable company several times over the years and asked if I dropped my cable, could I get a discount. Every time I make that call, the answer is the same: “Your bill will go up”.
Over the past few months, I have been dealing with a reoccurring billing problem with my cable company. Each time I called, the cable company agreed my bill was incorrect and fixed the problem for that month. They promised the problem will not reoccur – and yet here we are, on the phone again. I spent hours on the phone dealing with the issue. Fed up, I started the process to cancel my service. In response, the customer service representative offered me a new package: Faster Internet download speeds, cable television, and home telephone service for about $30 less per month than my current rate, good for twelve months. The cable company will send a technician out to install my home phone, but they will waive the $20 service-call fee. I accepted, obviously, because I like money and faster Internet. I have no plans of plugging a phone into the wall. If I end up with a VOIP box, I will likely stack it neatly on top of the cable television box in my closet – unopened, unused.
Professionally, I’ve worked extensively with customer service representatives (CSRs) and phone provisioning systems. Time is money with these people, and seconds count. The waste is extensive:
- The CSR took 15 minutes to provision my new phone number. That’s 15 minutes the CSR could be talking to other customers – driving sales, solving issues for other customers.
- The technician will come to my house at to install the VOIP interface into my phone box. That house-call will cost the cable company in compensation to the dispatcher, inventory person, and technician. They also have to pay for gas, a truck, training, back-office support, etc. I will likely unplug the box as soon as the technician walks out the door for the same reason I turn off the lights when I leave a room.
- The cable company will purchase VOIP equipment which will languish unused in my closet.
- The cable company will need to expand their infrastructure to accommodate another phone customer.
- Phone line taxes will be paid – although I suspect this will come out of my pocket on top of my bill.
What could possibly be the business driver behind this business waste? My bill went down, but my expenses to the cable company went up. The cost of the technician call will likely eat up several months of profit. Short-term profitability is clearly not the motivator here. I have no insight into the corporate workings and plans of my cable company, but to me, this stinks of bad internal business drivers and sneaky business practices. If I may speculate, maybe one or more of the following is true:
- The cable company is measuring success based on number of bundles sold. Attained goals are measured as success in the short-term. Long-term profitability may suffer, but you can reach almost any arbitrary goal if you try. If an executive says “my goal for next twelve months is to sell more packages than ever before”, that executive may reach the goal and get promoted. But that doesn’t necessarily help the company grow.
- The cable company is artificially inflating subscriber numbers for some reason invisible to me. Maybe they are trying to show growth to investors. Maybe it’s political. The cable/phone/internet industry is deep in politics these days. See: Net neutrality, local monopolies, etc.
- The cable company intends for my bill to go up drastically in twelve months. I’d be interested to see if this is an actual strategy or an unspoken reality. I suspect if the cable company’s executives put this in a strategic document, some disgruntled employee would leak it, and we’d see a public scandal. The CSR told me he did not know how much the bill would increase after the “special offer period”, but I suspect it will be higher than what I was paying without the telephone. The CSR told me I should call back in twelve months and ask for a lower rate. I intend to take him up on his offer.
So here I am: faster Internet, no change in services taken, still as resolutely cord-cut as I’ve ever been. But the cable company gets to use me as a data-point to show how cord-cutting is a declining trend. All it cost them was hundreds of dollars.